i wish i was friends with someone in my neighborhood so i could randomly call them up and be like ‘yo i know its 3am but do you wanna walk around aimlessly for a little while’
pro tip: glue a tiny mirror over your drivers license photo so when you hand it to the police they will get confused and arrest themselves instead
i have a degree in criminal justice and i can tell you this works 100% of the time
- Me: I think I'm gonna go to sleep now.
- TV: lol but good shows are on.
- iPod: sleep? Is that a new app?
- Sleeping position: lol you're not gonna be comfortable.
- Mind: what's the meaning of life though?
- Temperature: lol it's too hot and too cold.
- Noises: oh, you said be louder? Okay.
- Tumblr: Keep scrolling, bitch.
why am i not a butterfly i wanna fly into everyones faces and annoy them but they cant get mad cos im so pretty
i have 3 moods:
- skips every song on my ipod
- lets the music play without interruption
- plays the same song on repeat for days
I don’t want to go to school tomorrow
I don’t want to go to life tomorrow
THERE IS A FUCKING COW TRYING TO GET INSIDE MY HOUSE
I AM HOME ALONE
WHAT DO I DO THERE IS A COW PRESSING ITS FACE AGAINST THE WINDOW
tell it to mooove